I can't stand the rain ...

It didn't just rain in NYC today .... it poured. It mostly came down in buckets with some lucid moments of sunshine interspersed. When the sun shone it was so bright, as though it wasn't raining at all. But when the rain did come down it fell so hard. The drops felt hard against my skin, almost as if falling in anger. It felt as though the raindrops were piercing my soul.

The cheerless weather matched my mood all day. My boyfriend and I scurrying around getting his things together for the airport, packing the last of his clothes away, moving items into storage. I tried to put my mind around the concept that tonight he just won't be here. I tried to be strong and not the crybaby that I always am, but I was dying inside and felt like bawling. All day, I couldn't fully comprehend the impact his departure would have. It hit me like a ton of bricks when I was suddenly separated from him by airport personnel. With all the beefed up security measures I couldn't even see him to the gate like I intended. They checked tickets and told me to leave the area. I walked away head hung low, a heavy heart, and eyes brimming with tears.

As I write this, the tears streaming down my face as quickly and steadily as the rain outside, I feel very much alone. I will miss his touch, his scent, his laughter, his beautiful eyes, his smile. I will miss my newspaper reading buddy, my current events ticker, my little black Republican, my permanent dinner companion, my closest friend. I will miss the good times and the bad. Because even the bad with us is so good.

We are not perfect, we both make mistakes, but we love each other so very much. I love the way we need each other and we just fit. I hate the way a piece of my puzzle is missing right now.